using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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