All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
