If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
