I need to stop coming to work sober
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
