I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
