I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think I just shit out all my problems.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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