Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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