You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
