woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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