he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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