dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
