I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
