laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
