I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
