I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize