Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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