He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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