Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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