mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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