Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hippo gnu deer
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
