the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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