Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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