No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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