how can u be prego again
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
