I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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