Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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