toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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