No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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