In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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