the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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