So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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