It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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