I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
