Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
