I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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