let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You can't just leave with hair like that
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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