His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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