Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
