you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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