i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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