your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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