I would go down on you faster than GM stock
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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