i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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