My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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