were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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