You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
