no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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