just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
