did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
