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I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
