Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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