Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
