You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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