i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
