I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
this will be a night to untag.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We left the knife in your bed.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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