dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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