I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
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just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
His nipple licking is glorious
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