So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
