the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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