Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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