Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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