but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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