whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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