even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
